And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
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I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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