look no pants
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Sext me about skeletons
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
