So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
