This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize