Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
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When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
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Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.