can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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