When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
