his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
