I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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