There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
God, I missed his penis.
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