sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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