then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
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