another moral hangover. fuck.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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