He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
