Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
