it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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