Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
