who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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