hotel room ftw
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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