Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
