If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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