I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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