So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
