Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
