hotel room ftw
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
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I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's shark week go big or go home