Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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