you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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