we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
