Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
