i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just want nice things and good sex
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
