sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The air was thick with penises
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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