I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
