I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
