this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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