Is it normal to miss your booty call?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
