Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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