You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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