Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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