You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
