You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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