how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
