so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He keeps bees of course he's weird
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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