I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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