DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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