hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
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Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
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It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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