i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
