I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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