called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
