Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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