the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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