This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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