Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
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she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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