I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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