The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I smell stomach acid.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
