all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Be still, my beating vagina.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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