But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
