Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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