ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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