you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
