It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
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i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
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I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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