Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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