Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
