Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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