im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
